For the one who needs to know...

Huh..well..So..,I'm 18 and yes I still don't know how to keep those people whom I want to be close to...
and yes it is my first time losing someone whom I really felt for...whom I wanted to be with...
I just can't stop thinking about it... everyday, every night, every moment, every second,... This thing bothers me a lot...I thought about it a lot of times just to figure out what was my fault..., I think it was my fault that I couldn't explain myself well,... instead of listened to my friend...
I know that person hates me... that person is thinking stuffs about me...I wish that person would told me my mistake... But anyway I didn't mean to make that person feel bad or something...I just wanted to be close to that person, I was just afraid I might loose that person.
I didn't know how to express my emotions...,I didn't know what to do So...,my friend told me to be calm and to do what ever she would say me to do...So, I did... even though I wasn't concerned about if I'm doing something wrong... First that person checked my every activity but later on that person was leaving me slowly without my concern...and I broke into million pieces...I realized I RUSHED THINGS... But it was too late...and that person started thinking things about me... Which made me feel, hate, disgusted and heat broken... Now I realized, I shouldn't listen to someone else to express my fellings I should have wait till the right time.
Now I don't want that person back again in my life...I just want that person to forgave me...I'm too afraid and broken to face that person... my intentions were just to be closed to and not to lose... but I don't realized I RUSHED!... I'm truly ashamed and sorry....I didn't mean anything wrong I just did what I was told to.
 Huh... for now on I'm gonna try hard on myself and never gonna express my fellings towards anyone no matter how much I want... even if I had to lose I don't care.

"My creator created me and if I ever break,he will show me the way to fix myself..."

 -Lithi | Singer, Artist, creative