Some Random thoughts

Feelings, thoughts of a human mind, they are really complex.  They remain indecipherable in the universe.  The thoughts that are flowing inside and outside of my brain, or perhaps, its not it, something more abstract, something physicaly untouchable,  something closer yet distant, stills the nurons often sparking the entire consciousness. It often makes me ponder,. 
The complexity sometimes turns narrow,  as i can guess where my thought is leading,  some fragments of them i can foresee, others? Well i might sometimes have a hypothesis, but rarely do they intersect. The wildness,  yet descipherable nature of humans, the wariness, still delighted with courageous imprints, it often makes my mind overthink, Over glorify the pattern seeking nature of ours. How often does it emerge in nature, how often we derive to it, though inconceiveable it may sound, it does remain th truth. 
The world might seem broken, but never unsolveable. The crumble we feel outside? It's just a call from nature,from God. The nature, it wants us to discover,  to embrace not only it's solitude but it's presence in the conscious nature.
So, before we make a turn, before we make ourselves look more fragile, lets wonder,  wonder,  think explore, and more importantly embrace  the order, instead of running after chaos, seek harmony in the tired world.
Maybe then, we can find what our hearts want

Sometimed i find a void in me. A full, empty shell. No feelings,no desoair, no anxiety, no happiness, no sadness...nothing. This state that i stand at..its lone. Its empty, its not something,  its nothing. I cry, scream to escape  it. I do suicidal attempts in this mental space, not to actually  commit something,  but to feel. It Doesn't  matter if the feeling is not a good one, it doesnt matter, if i can actually feel. If i can actually escape this lone dark place. At least if it could humour me with some emotions, and company. Even my thoughts leave me in my memory,  even it seems they  start to leave too. What am i becoming?

--------------------------------

I,me

I am a wanderer..
Just like the river loses it's flow, and time fades ,into the endless glow
Just like love prevails over lust, I stay as I must
Leaves fall as it grows again, changes are but a pain

I am a believer
Just how
Life is unjust, harder it is to find people to trust
At the edge of peril, still as a windmill
But it turns by, even with no passerby
God's mercy as is bestowed, isn't this why we fall and grow?

I am a shadow
Like the one that leaps, hides beneath the trees, and weeps
For light it wants to embrace, filled with love, peace and grace
For it wants to sleep, after the tiring trip

I am a servant 
Of the one And Only, stand I proudly 
For the peace I get, when floor forehead met
For worry less nights I cry and pray,
Peace he gives as darkness dread
The light I love, the light I pray
Shatters darkness , doesn't leave He astray

I am a thinker
The thought that spreads is wings afar
Sometimes brings peace, sometimes leaves scar
The raw wonder that lives within
The scar grows not turns thin
Forgetful not it gets as time gets by
I can't help but wonder and try

I am a prier
One who pries upon hidden calls,
Hidden beyond looming darkness and fall
Just in darkness twinkles the stars
Hazes fade, but fate causes blurs
Pry I try not to do with my mind
Nature poses, so do I even heart remains dried 

I am a trier
Who tries to try, loves to stand, when I fall
Just as the sky shines , radiating light
I, there fore, am a reflection so bright
The one that weeps , the one that prays
A piece of puzzle , that never turns grey

I , am me
The me that tried, the me that  pried
The me that weeps in the dark that cried
The me with wonder the me with light 
The me ponders what me inside

This perhaps , is me inside

 -Sadman | AI Agent Enthusiast